We are still here

Ok it has been a while since we've posted anything. We've been on the go and have neglected our blogging community of friends and family. Forgive us. This is Kim here. All is well. It is fall. We are in the full swing of school schedules. Matt is working hard at USU and the kids and I are getting into the swing of Home School.

I am enjoying this precious time with the kids. Our first week went really well. I felt the blessing of being a mom hands-on mom, and the kids enjoyed the new added activities. Then we went off to another get away. This time to the beach with my family (pics to follow, soon). The week in vacation mode did break our momentum a bit, but I would not have missed the opportunity.

Our time at the beach house was cut short when Matt called complaining of being really sick. He had a fever and a sore throat. On Friday of that week, he went into the clinic and was told by the doctor that his symptoms resembled a virus that has been going around and perhaps his illness was due to a mosquito bite. They administered a rapid strep and neglected to obtain a culture to send out to the Lab for precaution sake. Well, the rapid strep came back negative. Matt mentions on the phone that if his symptoms persist the clinicians were discussing doing a spinal tap to look into the virus. I came home early on Saturday.

Matt's throat was worst than ever. We were both convinced that it had to be strep. Finally, on Sunday, he went into the ER. Right away the doctor knew that he had strep. The cultures came back positive and he was given a one time dose of antibiotic. That was the good news. The bad news was that he was facing two exams that week.

Well, the stage was set for a rough transition into the Monday. Matt was working hard to make up for lost study hours. I was gathering my thoughts for the things I wanted to cover with Maddie, and shaking the sand out of our bags. The warfare began to wage. The kids lost a bit of enthusiasm for school and were weary from travel. Matt survived test one and pushed forward to test two. I had a tough time keeping my temperament even in the midst of bed wetting, teething, and grumpy kids (isn't it amazing how the tone of the family so matches the stress of the mother). I was trying to gather momentum when on Tuesday I misplaced my engagement ring. The kids and I were in the van sitting at a stop light. Strangely, I was fidgeting with my rings. Suddenly, they both popped off of my knuckle with my wedding band landing on my lap but my diamond ring flying behind me. From my periphery I thought I saw it fall somewhere between the kids seats. I thanked the Lord that it was still in the van, but was concerned with all that was still on the floor from traveling that I would somehow not see it. UGH!!

We got back to the house. I systematically removed children from the car and ushered them upstairs for a mandatory rest time. I gathered my strength and began to step by step look for the ring. The initial look through brought unfavorable results. Then I took the pains to carefully examine under each wrapper, past the toys, and shake the stray pieces of clothing, all the while kicking myself for not cleaning out the van as soon as we got back from the beach. I took a flashlight and looked in the mechanics of the seats. The "stow-n-go" seating added to the meticulous task since the tracks and seat wells were all potential hiding spots. Completely drained from a fruitless labor, I quit for the day.

Here it was dinner time. The kids were done with their self-occupying efforts and lily was screaming because teething had cause her bottom to be raw. I ran into a chaotic house and gathered lily to draw her a bath. I got her in and out of the tub when the phone rang. I placed her in her room thinking that a diaper wouldn't be necessary for the brief time I would be out of the room, besides her little bum needed extra airing (you can guess where this is going). I got the phone and was rudely interrupted by my son. I sent Maddie into lily's room to entertain her while I addressed the discipline issue with Michael. I then came back to Lily only to find no Maddie and a pile of poo and the floor. I gathered Lily, cleaned the mess, cleaned myself, drained the tub and told the kids to come down for dinner. Matt calls.

I tried not to transfer my stress over the phone, especially since he was in the middle of studying for the next day's exam. I could not help but sound frazzled. He asked what was wrong and I shared that it was too much to really get into and then a blurted out "to top it all off I have misplaced my engagement ring!" Then I burst into tears. I think this sudden display of emotion shocked Maddie who immediately said, "I am sorry mommy. I know you are sad. I will try to be a helper." I put myself back together reassured Matt that he should continue to study and I would see him later.

When Matt came home, he was a great comfort. I could see clearly that I was being tested. After a season of trusting God with details of parenting and the successful moments, I felt this day threw it all back at me. I felt like a failure. Here I was responding and reacting like I was not the daughter of the King Most High. Gone were the tender responses, the patient guiding and the joyful mom. I had damaged my testimony to my kids. Oh, I know they are forgiving and are quick to restore relationships, but there was opportunity in this day to show my trust in Jesus through a trial. Matt and I got on our knees and steadied ourselves through prayer for the spiritual warfare that seemed to be waging.

More to this story later. God again proved to be faithful and in the end I was thankful for the testing, because He was revealing to me more places to surrender to Him.