Onslaught Part Two
So I went to bed that night with a wonderful peace and a promise that the morning would bring mercies a new.
I woke up and did my morning routine: Stumble out of bed, make the bed, put in contacts, dress, tip-toe downstairs, grab a cup of coffee, read the note from Matt, get into God's Word. I was thankful to be up a good 30 minutes before the kids. I had a wonderful sense of peace and was ready to release control of the day. I had learned a great deal from the day before about how I had begun to lay claim to the victories of late. I confessed and moved forward.
I took special care to note the time and at 8am was praying for Matt. He was in the middle of his exam. At 8:45 I missed a call from him. This missed call was disappointing because he usually reported the results of his tests right as he is given them. I continued with my day trying not to be distracted by the misplace ring. We had a good morning and schooling went well.
At about 11 am or so the phone rang. I dashed for it knowing that is had to be Matt with the results. One the other line I heard a less than enthusiastic" Hi honey", proceeded with "I blew it" I caught my breath and said "oh Honey what do you mean?" He said that he got a 78% and that was not a good grade considering he needed to maintain a B in his anesthesia core courses. I listened as he was expressing frustration over the test taking process. He felt that he had changed answers he should not have and kept answers he should have changed. He did not feel stressed during the actual exam and felt the material was manageable. So he was shocked at his score.
I knew right away this exam was actually a "test." In the midst of his set back, he was questioning his study habit choices. Before arriving to this assignment, he made the commitment to do most of his studying before we ( his family) were awake and honor the Sabbath by making it a day of rest from studying at all. I believe a voice from the enemy was whispering "see, you tried to do it "God's way" and he left you stranded. You need to stop giving so much time to family and work harder" "you're not smart enough for this program" and on and on. We have all experienced these type of lies.
In reality, I knew that a 78 did not mean blowing it. But as his wife and cheerleader, I needed to allow him his disappointment and allow God to do the work He was doing. By the end of the day Matt came home and was resolved to not change his schedule. With clarity he saw that the choice to honor God and family was one made in a season of peace.
In a moment of my clarity, the Holy Spirit was challenging me to see that my test and Matt's were similar. It was a challenge to hold to the lifestyles we had chose. They were tests of our character. As Matt says in jest "we are living our best life now." (this is in reference to pop Christian book title) In so many areas we were having victory. Though we were giving God the credit, I know our flesh was laying claim to the glory that was not our own. I thank Him for the eyes to see where we were straying. It is such a gift that our Lord loves us enough to test us. By His mercy He did not allow the sins of our heart to lead us to destruction.
The communion I feel with Him is worth the challenging days and moments. More to come.
I woke up and did my morning routine: Stumble out of bed, make the bed, put in contacts, dress, tip-toe downstairs, grab a cup of coffee, read the note from Matt, get into God's Word. I was thankful to be up a good 30 minutes before the kids. I had a wonderful sense of peace and was ready to release control of the day. I had learned a great deal from the day before about how I had begun to lay claim to the victories of late. I confessed and moved forward.
I took special care to note the time and at 8am was praying for Matt. He was in the middle of his exam. At 8:45 I missed a call from him. This missed call was disappointing because he usually reported the results of his tests right as he is given them. I continued with my day trying not to be distracted by the misplace ring. We had a good morning and schooling went well.
At about 11 am or so the phone rang. I dashed for it knowing that is had to be Matt with the results. One the other line I heard a less than enthusiastic" Hi honey", proceeded with "I blew it" I caught my breath and said "oh Honey what do you mean?" He said that he got a 78% and that was not a good grade considering he needed to maintain a B in his anesthesia core courses. I listened as he was expressing frustration over the test taking process. He felt that he had changed answers he should not have and kept answers he should have changed. He did not feel stressed during the actual exam and felt the material was manageable. So he was shocked at his score.
I knew right away this exam was actually a "test." In the midst of his set back, he was questioning his study habit choices. Before arriving to this assignment, he made the commitment to do most of his studying before we ( his family) were awake and honor the Sabbath by making it a day of rest from studying at all. I believe a voice from the enemy was whispering "see, you tried to do it "God's way" and he left you stranded. You need to stop giving so much time to family and work harder" "you're not smart enough for this program" and on and on. We have all experienced these type of lies.
In reality, I knew that a 78 did not mean blowing it. But as his wife and cheerleader, I needed to allow him his disappointment and allow God to do the work He was doing. By the end of the day Matt came home and was resolved to not change his schedule. With clarity he saw that the choice to honor God and family was one made in a season of peace.
In a moment of my clarity, the Holy Spirit was challenging me to see that my test and Matt's were similar. It was a challenge to hold to the lifestyles we had chose. They were tests of our character. As Matt says in jest "we are living our best life now." (this is in reference to pop Christian book title) In so many areas we were having victory. Though we were giving God the credit, I know our flesh was laying claim to the glory that was not our own. I thank Him for the eyes to see where we were straying. It is such a gift that our Lord loves us enough to test us. By His mercy He did not allow the sins of our heart to lead us to destruction.
The communion I feel with Him is worth the challenging days and moments. More to come.
posted by mattkimuber at 11:20 AM
5 Comments:
Thanks for sharing from your lives. It is truly a great reminder for me just how seriously we need to take life by bringing all things to God. So often we do get so comfortable and negligent. Be encouraged!
"Consider it PURE JOY, my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, NOT LACKING ANYTHING." James 1:2-4 (emphasis mine)
Rejoice in knowing that God loves you so much He is willing to give you trials so that you may be complete and lack nothing. We miss you all!!
p.s. Ultrasound scheduled for Oct 6th...if baby h cooperates we'll know if the Chinese birth calendar was right!
Wow, those are really great insights. I'm so glad you and Matt are seeing things through eternal eyes and not being driven by the tyranny of the urgent. Way to stay planted by the living water!
Wow Kim, you all really are being tested. It is so encouraging to see you looking at it through those eyes, instead of just human eyes. I know we have also had weeks just like yours, and I for one have not responded as I should either to the kids. Praise the Lord for his great love--his mercy is new every morning. Did you ever find your lost ring? We will be praying for you and Matt this week. Here's a big hug (((Kim))). Hang in there!
You are a great writer, Kim. I really enjoyed reading of your family trials only because of your perseverance in the Lord. You can't fall too far while you're standing on the ROCK! Better luck next time, Matt!
Hey Matt,
Don't let one "bad" score get you down. Keep up the good work.
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